Marriage Thoughts
By Darryl M. Gumm
Originally Written in 2004 & Modified on February 15, 2020

Yesterday was Valentine’s Day and it was also the 51st anniversary of meeting the amazing woman who has been my wife for the past 46 years.

While friends, relatives and neighbors all around us ended their marriages, we’ve continued ours. It almost seems as if a second marriage is the latest fashion. As a wedding photographer for over twenty-five years, I could predict, on their wedding day, which couples would make it and which ones wouldn’t. I retired from taking wedding pictures because it was too hard to continually read the divorce notices of couples for whom I had taken hundreds of really nice pictures. It’s almost as if I had given up on marriage, except for my own.

I have learned that marriage is about team work. It’s about us, not me. It’s about allowing your partner the space to be the unique individual he or she is. It’s about helping, caring, listening, communicating, trust, respect and sharing. Relationships where this doesn’t exist, don’t have a prayer, and even a constitutional amendment won’t save them. Relationships where one of the partners is “in charge” or “wears the pants” are those which fail. “Relationship killers” are greed, selfishness, control, abuse, jealousy, pride materialism, stupidity and prejudice. Those who would have you believe gay marriages threaten traditional marriage are throwing up a smoke screen and ignoring the real cause for the epidemic of failed marriages world-wide. At the cost of redundancy, let me repeat, the biggest threat to the traditional marriage and family values include greed, selfishness, control, abuse, jealousy, materialism, stupidity and prejudice. If America needs anything to be added to its constitution, it would be an amendment outlawing greed, selfishness, control, abuse, jealousy, materialism, stupidity and prejudice. Then, and only then, will our families be whole again.